Turning Up the Volume: Being Loud and Intransigent

TLDR

We as a society reward and reinforce being loud and intransigent. We suffer the consequences, hurting our self-esteem, our freedom of speech and even our identity. We need to strive for balance and effective communication and think deeply about what is going on in the world, what the possible causes are and what we can do to change the course of history. The “whatever” mentality, as good as it may be as a protection for the madness we live in, does more harm than protection. We must stand up for ourselves and our children and their children.

Introduction

We live in a world where compromise, acceptance and agreeableness are valued. When I say “we” I mean mainly the West, because I can’t say much about the different cultures around the world, although I’ve visited many places, you can’t really understand a culture until you have lived in it for many years. And even then, it’s not the same as being born there and raised by those who were born and raised there.

I believe that everywhere, and regardless of the culture in which they were raised, there are those who refuse to bow to the status quo. Some of these are the loud and intransigent individuals who make their voices heard, make their opinions known and are adamant about getting their way. Even if their behaviour is sometimes perceived as disruptive or difficult, some can have a surprising allure to their approach.

In this blog post, I want to take us on an exploratory journey about the unexpected benefits and consequences of being loud and intransigent. Or rather than unexpected,maybe it’s more a case of lack of awareness of those benefits and consequences. Even though I often mention loud and intransigent in the same breath, that doesn’t mean I believe that if you’re one, you’re automatically the other. Sometimes they go hand in hand, and other times they don’t. And another thing: by loud, I don’t necessarily mean that you shout when you speak. You can speak louder by slightly increasing the volume of your voice, using the right pitch and making good use of your body language for that effect.

The squeaky wheel gets the grease

Being loud and intransigent can have a certain appeal, both in terms of societal reinforcement and personal motivation. Let’s look at these factors in more detail to gain a better understanding.

Social Reinforcement and rewards

Loud and intransigent behaviour is often reinforced and rewarded by society, perpetuating the appeal for some people. Here are some ways in which these behaviours can be rewarded:

Getting One’s Way

Asserting oneself forcefully can sometimes lead to the desired results. Being loud and unyielding increases the chances that your needs will be met, your goals achieved or decision-making processes influenced. If this strategy has proven successful, the following applies: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Dominating Conversations

Loud people often attract attention and dominate conversations. They’re more likely to be heard and their opinions taken into account, which can give them a sense of power and influence in social interactions.

Perceived confidence and assertiveness

Being loud and unyielding is often associated with confidence and assertiveness. These qualities can give the impression of strength and competence, so that others see these individuals as powerful and influential.

What’s gotten into you?

Apart from social reinforcement, there are also personal factors that contribute to a person’s tendency to be loud and intransigent.

Here are a few possible reasons:

Personality traits

Some people have an assertive and dominant personality by nature. They may have a strong need for control or feel compelled to speak their mind and assert themselves forcefully even if they’re met with resistance. Some are less agreeable and more confrontational. And others are very ideological in their beliefs. If you combine all these qualities in one person, you get someone who is very difficult to deal with, but — and this is the catch — probably successful.

Upbringing and socialisation

Early experiences and upbringing play an important role in shaping a person’s behaviour. Those who grew up in an environment where assertiveness and self-expression were encouraged or rewarded may be more inclined to be loud and intransigent as they move through the world.

Emotional expression

For some people, loud and unyielding behaviour can be a way of channelling their feelings or frustrations. They may believe that being loud is the only way to make themselves heard or to have their feelings acknowledged.

If we understand these social and personal factors, we can understand why being loud and intransigent can be tempting for some people. We should also consider group dynamics and how groups lead to loud and intransigent behaviour.

Here are some common reasons why groups can lead to this behaviour:

Identity and belonging

The sense of identity and belonging can lead individuals to take an uncompromising stance to protect and preserve the values, beliefs and interests of their group. When they voice their beliefs, they’ll be louder simply because of group dynamics.

Group polarisation

Group polarisation occurs when people with similar views come together and interact, leading to reinforcement and exaggeration of their initial beliefs. The more isolated and homogeneous the group becomes, the more intransigent the members can become in their positions, reinforcing their common beliefs and dismissing opposing viewpoints. These beliefs also lead them to become louder in defending their positions.

Norms and social pressure

Social norms within a group can influence intransigence. If the group norm is to be unwavering and uncompromising, individuals may conform to this behaviour in order to be accepted or to avoid social sanctions. The fear of deviating from the group’s expectations can contribute to a collective intransigent attitude.

Cognitive bias

Cognitive biases, such as confirmation bias and groupthink, can contribute to intransigence. Confirmation bias leads people to seek out and interpret information in a way that confirms their pre-existing beliefs, which strengthens their intransigent positions. Groupthink, on the other hand, occurs when the desire for consensus overrides critical thinking, leading to conformity and an aversion to alternative views.

Being Loud and Intransigent

The theory of the intransigent minority, first put forward by Serge Moscovici in 1969 in “Psychology, Its Image, and Its Public” and expanded in later works, explores the power of a committed and vocal minority to influence group dynamics and shape social change.

The main elements of this theory are:

Minority influence

This minority is assertive, persistent and uncompromising. It gives the impression of strength and determination by not bowing to the majority. Often this minority wins the trophy by influencing the final outcome through sheer persistence and uncompromising behaviour.

Perception of confidence and determination

The unwavering commitment of the intransigent minority and their confidence in their position can impress others inside and outside the group. Their assertiveness can lead to the impression that they have expertise, knowledge or moral authority, which can influence the majority.

Norm-shifting

They can challenge existing norms and force the majority to confront and reconsider their own positions. This norm-shifting effect can lead to the gradual adoption of the minority’s perspectives and a change in the position of society as a whole.

Reinforcement of support

This minority can attract like-minded people who may have originally held more moderate views. When these people join the minority, their influence grows and strengthens their impact on the group as a whole.

However, it’s important to recognise that this behaviour also has consequences and potential disadvantages, and by this I mean not only intransigence but also to being loud.

How “we” respond to it

When confronted with loud and intransigent behaviour, society often reacts in a certain way characterised by acquiescence and a tendency to avoid confrontation. Let’s examine these societal reactions and the reasons for them.

Acquiescence and avoidance of confrontation

Acquiescence

In the face of loud and intransigent behaviour, many people choose to acquiesce and give in to the demands or opinions of these individuals. This reaction may stem from a desire to avoid conflict or maintain harmonious relationships. By accommodating the loud and unyielding people, they hope to maintain social cohesion and prevent further strife.

Avoiding confrontation

Another common reaction is to avoid direct confrontation altogether. People withdraw from interaction with loud and intransigent people to minimise potential conflict. This avoidance may be motivated by fear of negative repercussions or by the belief that confrontation is futile or emotionally exhausting.

Heads or Tails

Elisabeth Noelle-Neumann, a German political scientist, proposed the theory of the spiral of silence, that people tend to remain silent or withhold their opinions when they believe their views are in the minority or go against the status quo because they fear social isolation or backlash. This leads to a spiral effect where the perceived majority opinion becomes even more dominant while minority opinions are suppressed and marginalised.

The theory is that people have a strong desire to conform and be accepted by their social groups. When people believe that their opinion goes against the dominant opinion, they tend to self-censor because they fear negative consequences such as rejection, ridicule or even damage to their reputation.

This spiral of silence has significant implications for the formation of public opinion, social conformity and the general functioning of societies. It casts a shadow over freedom of speech and makes us all look poorer and sometimes very stupid.

It’s important to recognise that the societal response to loud and intransigent behaviour can perpetuate a cycle in which these behaviours are reinforced. But it’s also crucial to understand how the reverse of that behaviour impacts us all. The spiral of silence is in essence a minority without the intransigence and loudness to stand up for itself.

Whatever

We have been led to adopt the whatever attitude towards almost everything that happens around us. Having been desensitised from watching unimaginable horrors on TV at dinner time, from wars and famines to murders and patricides to genocide and terrorist attacks. From cheering on 90kg men winning women’s swimming competitions, or running, fighting, singing and dancing, to kidnapping children under 15 who “believe” or have been led to believe that they were born in the wrong body and the help they get is to cut off their breasts or testicles or temporarily stop their natural biological development; and it’s all okay because it’s only temporary, just like the temporary measures taken by governments.

Of course, we live in the age of whatever. How else can we protect ourselves and our sanity? If we don’t put up an iron curtain between our immediate reality and the objective reality out there, we’ll go insane very quickly. That basically destroys our empathy, which is one of the most important human qualities. It makes you think, doesn’t it? Why are we heading down this path? Whatever.

The price we pay

Being loud and intransigent may have its advantages, but it also has significant negative consequences, both for the individual who behaves in this way and for society as a whole.

Let’s look at some of these consequences:

If a tree falls in a deserted forest, does it make a sound?

Damaged relationships

Being constantly loud and unyielding can put a strain on relationships with friends, family and colleagues. It usually leads to conflict or alienation and can also affect trust. We tend to perceive people who exhibit such behaviour as difficult to work with or deal with and may not confront them, but we do our best to avoid them.

These individuals may also leave a negative image of themselves to complete strangers. People who refuse to listen to other points of view or constantly dominate conversations may be perceived as arrogant, stubborn or dismissive. This perception can hinder collaboration, limit opportunities for growth and create barriers to building meaningful relationships.

Are we all doomed?

When we collectively and repeatedly give in to loud and intransigent individuals, their behaviour is reinforced and perpetuated. This creates a cycle where assertiveness is equated with getting one’s own way, leading to an environment where forceful and intransigent approaches are favoured over cooperative and inclusive approaches.

The frequent toleration of this kind of behaviour discourages people who prefer a measured and thoughtful approach from speaking up. It results in different perspectives being suppressed, limiting the potential for creative solutions and hindering progress. The voices of those who are less assertive or introverted can be eclipsed, perpetuating a social power imbalance.

To promote a healthier and more inclusive society, it’s important to recognise and address the negative consequences of loud and intransigent behaviour. Things will only change when both sides change. But I understand the loud and intransigent people because there are incentives for them to continue behaving the way they do. It’s different for the other side. There are actually incentives for them to change, but that hasn’t happened yet.

The balance of power

So what’s the solution? To continue to ignore the loud, intransigent individuals who are successful in their majority, even though some — the emphasis is on “ some” — people end up ignoring and shunning them? Or to speak up and face the consequences? Because we live in a society that demands you comply, be agreeable and conform to the status quo. We live in a society that values the whatever mentality. If you don’t agree, think about everyone around you and while you’re at it, think about yourself. Do you think deeply about what’s going on in the world, or are you too busy working for a corporation after leaving your children in the care of complete strangers? Whatever.

It’s important to find a balance between assertiveness and intransigence to promote healthy and effective communication. If you’re thinking critically about an issue, it’s likely that you’ll not agree with everyone else. So you can’t be too agreeable and at the same time you need to be open to looking at things from a different perspective.

When it comes to loudness, it’s much more bearable if you show that you aren’t intransigent and are open enough to consider other points of view. I think that in this case the loudness decreases just enough to be way more tolerable.

Call to Action

Now I invite you to think about your own behaviour and how you respond to those who are loud and intransigent. Ask yourself: are you reinforcing this behaviour through acquiescence or avoidance? How might your reactions contribute to an environment that either promotes or hinders balanced communication?

Do you nod or remain silent when an intransigent minority says something ridiculous, such as that a woman is whoever feels or thinks or believes is a woman? Or do you address someone as they, xe, per or ve when they identify themselves that way? Do you do it because you don’t want to hurt their feelings by addressing them as sir or madam, or do you do it to avoid suffering the backlash of the majority who put up with this stupidity just like you? Because if the latter is the case, you’re part of the problem, you’re part of the majority that is causing this reality.

Share your thoughts and experiences on this issue. Do you know situations where you have felt that it’s better to avoid someone or to remain silent on an issue with which you disagree because your job, your place in the community or even in the family could be at risk?

How have you managed such interactions? By sharing your insights, you can contribute to a broader discussion about promoting balanced and respectful communication. I hope you don’t feel I’m being disrespectful to the LGBTQ+ community, if there is such a thing. Either that or disrespect biology, and if you feel disrespected by me speaking my truth, then I accept that is the way you feel. But I don’t say that to disrespect anyone.

I really want to encourage balanced communication on this or any other topic.

Let’s raise the volume of constructive dialogue and turn down the noise of intransigence. If you like this type of content and are not afraid of being challenged, consider following me on Twitter.